I stopped waiting for the perfect moment to feel confident.

I just started. A personal essay on loss, trust, and learning to grow without a deadline.

I became a mother at a very young age. I stopped partying and lost most of my friends. The one who did stick around ghosted me three weeks before my wedding day, and I haven't heard from her since. It's been 13 years.

I had two more children, and then my family moved to Mexico for my husband's job. That was when the last shred of anything familiar left me.

I built my identity around knowing things would leave me. And maybe that's one of the reasons it took me so long to trust any path I was on. Maybe why it took so long to build my brand and have any type of clarity around it.

Why was I so afraid of success, and why did the version of success I'd imagined for myself always feel just a smidge out of reach?

Confidence, for me, didn't arrive with a bold entrance.

It built in the background, step by step.

And I still don’t always have it.

When I look back on how hard all of that actually was, I'm impressed that I still showed up for myself day after day. And there were days I really didn't want to. Confidence grew when I chose to try, even when I was unsure of the outcome.

It came after months… years of doubt and doing it anyway.

It came after humiliating myself countless times. After taking action despite my self-doubt. And yeah, after doing things I really didn't want to do. Maybe those things weren't right for me in the moment, but in hindsight, each one was a lesson. Each one taught me to listen.

On my early spiritual path, I would avoid doing things I didn’t want to do and I would make up the excuse that “it wasn’t aligned.” This is the trap of spiritual communities. This kept me trapped for so long.

I had to distance myself from all that noise and realize that I was reaching for answers outside of myself. I had to remind myself that I had been burned many times over, looking for help outside of me.

And I’m not saying don’t go get help.

But be selective, and be like a detective.

Any decision you make that has to do with your ultimate healing and success always has to start with your personal investigation. It has to begin with ONLY you in mind.

Questions I started asking myself:

What is my body telling me?

Does this feel aligned?

Is this what I really want?

And then I would listen and feel. For any little tinge of sensation, any heaviness in my chest, and sense of contraction or expansion. I would slow down enough to analyze first.

The more you allow yourself to feel in those moments, the more you reinforce the belief that you're capable. And that you are in control.

You don’t need to, and you won’t have all the answers

But you can be sure that you'll figure it out along the way… and that you can take the time to figure it out. Instead of rushing to a solution, remind yourself that you can slow down and take time to allow a solution to arise.

At the same time, the key to making things happen isn't waiting for the perfect moment — it's starting with what you have, where you are. Big goals can feel overwhelming when you analyze them all at once, but momentum builds through small, consistent actions that feel safe.

Progress comes from showing up not perfectly, but persistently. Take action, but do it in a way that feels safe for you. Don't hold a deadline over your head. You don't need that pressure.

Action creates clarity. And over time, those little steps forward add up to something real.

Maybe this was the version of confidence I was actually reaching for

Growth.

Letting go of my idea of an "end game" and doing away with the imaginary clock I held over my own head gave me the freedom to grow at a pace that felt comfortable for me. And this allowed me to grow my confidence.

No longer was I performing, pretending, or faking a smile when I was cracking inside. I was simply allowing how I felt to move through me, and letting that moment inform my next move.

No deadline. This feels successful.

We need to stop making moms feel like they're behind

That version of success kept me trapped in perfectionism and constant self-criticism. I felt like I was racing against a clock — and my body was responding as if I was, too.

You don't need to be fearless to reach your goals. You just need to be willing. Willing to learn. Willing to listen to what your body is telling you.

Growth is rarely a smooth road. But you've got one vehicle to do it in: your body.

Don't rush it.

Stop Surviving your Life. Start Leading It.

Helping women become bigger than the challenges they’re facing.